Lost in Light and Darkness
by vIoLeT bUtTeRfLy 90
Summary: But…if I'm supposed to be the light…why do I feel like I'm lost in the dark? -Sora; My heart had felt dead without you by my side... - Riku. Oneshot. RikuSora. Brief mention of AkuRoku.


**Author's Note**

Another oneshot that was spur of the moment. It was inspired by my AkuRoku oneshot The Flurry's True Flame and listening to Somewhere by Within Temptation. Plus, boredom strikes hard right now. No one to talk to on YIM.

I hope you like it. Again, it was a spur of the moment.

Beta: None

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><p>Sometimes I just wanted to give up.<p>

Every time I was one step closer to finding you, I was knocked two steps back. But I wouldn't give up. You were lost in the darkness because of me. I couldn't give up on you.

But…if I'm supposed to be the light…why do I feel like I'm lost in the dark?

_I watched as the darkness surrounded you while our island was slowly being destroyed around us. I couldn't find Kairi anywhere. I could only she was safe somewhere. I ran to you, seeing you looking up at the sky. Darkness was everywhere. You went on about how the door was opened and we could finally travel to other worlds. The look in your eyes…were you that desperate to leave our home that you would turn to the darkness to find freedom?_

"_I'm not afraid of the darkness!" you shouted._

_I wasn't afraid of the darkness either…I was afraid for you. I wanted to go explore other worlds as much as you did, but I didn't want to turn to the darkness either. _

_You reached your hand out to me, eyes silently begging me to go with you. I'm your best friend. Of course I would go with you. I saw the darkness spring out from underneath you, slowly taking you down with it. _

_Don't go. Don't leave me alone like this. Don't turn to the darkness._

_But I was too late. _

I'm resting here at the Land of the Dragons. The emperor decided to give us rooms to sleep in so we could recover before we left. You were here, I saw you. I tried to attack you, but you didn't even reveal yourself to stop me from doing so. Why? I've been searching for you and you left me again.

I wanted to cry myself to sleep…but I won't. I'll still continue on this journey to find you. Please wait for me.

_I could barely keep up with you. How could you let yourself get possessed by Ansem, the Seeker of Darkness? Did you want to see me dead that badly? Were you that desperate to show that you were better than me? Or was it that you wanted to the power of the Keyblade? So many questions ran through my mind as I blocked your attacks. But only one question kept popping up._

_Why…?_

_We'd been best friends since we were practically babies. Always by each other's side no matter what. We even let Kairi into the group. Have you always been this way? Have you always wanted to see me dead so that you can be the best at everything? Were you…jealous of me? I don't know why you would be. I've always been jealous that you were better at everything. Better at fighting, swimming, and every little competition we did for fun. But I always loved you no matter what._

I finally found you…

After so being in so many worlds. Fighting countless battles…I found you.

I don't care that you look like Ansem, the Seeker of Darkness. You're still Riku. You're still the person I've always loved. I don't care how you look. I still love you.

I managed to keep myself from crying. I want to cry. But I won't. I know you didn't want to be found. I don't care. I'm not letting you go now that I've found you.

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><p><em>You thought I didn't see it…but I watched in horror as you stabbed yourself in the heart to save Kairi. You gave your friends that goofy smile I've always loved. Even in the face of death, you still smile. I wanted to stop you. I wanted to save you from sacrificing yourself. But I was too weak to even get control of my own body. <em>

_Would you have done that for me? Would you sacrifice your heart to save mine?_

_How could I do this to you…? All you've ever done was try to find me and Kairi…and I nearly killed you. How could I almost kill the person I love more than anything else in the worlds? Was it because I was jealous of your new friends? Or was it because you died saving Kairi? Yes, I wanted to keep you for myself. But I knew you would do anything to save anyone. Even sacrificing your life._

_Come back…don't fade away. I need you now more than you know. _

_Please help me…_

_Save me._

I fought my way as I watched Xemnas absorbing your energy. You couldn't even fight back. My heart was beating much faster than normal because I was so scared for you. I could already see your eyes closing. Don't die, Sora!

I managed to break his hold, freeing you. Luckily, I had a Hi-Potion on me and gave it to you. I've nearly lost you because of my own weaknesses. I won't ever let that happen again. I'll make sure you know how I really feel about you soon. Once this battle is over and we're back home.

_I'm fighting my way through the basement levels of Castle Oblivion. They're manipulating you in the upper levels. I know it. They're probably using the promise of you finding me to make you continue. Please be safe. Sometimes your gullibility gets you into some hard situations, but I know you always managed to pull through. You're too strong to let them take you out._

_But that replica. He was strong. I hope he didn't harm you. I hope you know that it isn't really me. _

_It's getting harder to fight the darkness. I still hear Ansem, the Seeker of Darkness' voice in my head. He's still inside me. I won't let him harm you. I'll kill myself before I ever let that happen again. You've suffered enough because of me. _

_I love you too much to make you suffer anymore. I promise I'll make it up to you when I get the chance. _

"Riku!" I heard you shout as Xemnas knocked me back after we managed to block all those laser beams shooting at us. He held a laser sword at your neck. I don't know how I managed to do it, but I blocked his attack before he could finish you off. Only then did he hit me in the back after I pushed you out of the way. I'm not going to let that bastard harm you. He almost took you from me when he was absorbing your energy earlier, and I'm not about to let him kill you.

I fell to the ground as you took my Keyblade and started attacking Xemnas mercilessly. I've never seen you like that. You almost looked…mad. You knocked him up in the air and landed next to me. I managed to summon up what little bit of energy I had left and combined it with yours and shot a beam of light at him.

At last, the battle is finally over.

_Even sleeping in this damn pod, you looked peaceful. I hated it. I wanted nothing more than to drag Roxas' ass over here so he could give you back your memories. But…I know how Axel feels. Even if he is a Nobody, Axel loves Roxas more than anything. How could I take that away from him? He managed to find Roxas in the digitalized Twilight Town. Ansem the Wise, Naminé, and I were not expecting that. But then, I know if I were in Axel's shoes, I would've done everything I could to find you, Sora._

_Naminé said Roxas' memory might be suppressed, but he can't truly forget his love for Axel. Do you have love for me, Sora? Do you love me as much as I love you? Or do you love Kairi?_

_I know I shouldn't be jealous of her. But I was. I wanted you to love me. Somehow, someway, I'll make you love me, Sora._

After we returned home, Kairi ran to us with a letter from Mickey. I know you're going to help those people. It's not like you to know there are people out there connected to you that are suffering. I don't want you to leave. I'll go with you.

"Riku…?" I heard your voice call out to me. I looked to side, seeing you right there on my windowsill. "Are you okay?"

I nodded, watching you sit down on my bed and kick your shoes off then laid down next to me. "So…you're leaving?"

"Yes," you replied. "I can't let those people suffer. If I can help them, I will. I can't just sit here."

Sad thing is, I wanted you to stay here. No, I wanted you to stay with me. But I know I can't stop you from going. "Sora?"

You looked at me with those big, blue eyes. I swear I could look at your eyes forever and never get bored. You've grown since we left Destiny Islands. You got taller, your hair got lighter, and I could tell your body got a little more muscle. But those blue eyes were still big and full of innocence. And your smile was still the same. Your smile always manages to make my heart warm up. "Did you mean what you said at the Dark Margin?"

You blushed so cutely that all I wanted to do was kiss you senseless. "Yes, I do mean it."

_We'd been sitting by the shore in the Dark Margin. Who knows how long we'll be here. You were reading the letter from Kairi. I hope she's okay._

_A portal of light appeared, shining brightly. You stood up, reaching your hand out to me and gave me that big smile I loved so much. Just as we were about to walk through the portal._

"_Riku, I love you," you said._

_I looked at you with shocked eyes. Did you really just say that?_

I watch your face as I thrust into you slow and hard. You look so beautiful right now. Giving yourself up to me while I do the same. Goodness, I love how you feel all around me. The way your lips kiss my neck, your nails scratching down my back as I thrust harder into you, and the way you keep crying out my name.

"Riku!" you cried out.

I guess I know how Axel felt. This was more than sharing our bodies, it was a bonding our very hearts and souls together. My heart had felt dead without you by my side, Sora. All that time I had been searching before I betrayed you, only one thing kept me sane.

You.

Even after I had found Kairi, I still didn't feel happy. I wanted you. But now that I know you didn't replace me with Donald and Goofy, it made me feel better to know that you loved me. I felt you tighten around me, knowing that you were close. I don't care if we lasted long or not, I felt complete. I started to pump you in time with my thrusts, moving faster and harder. I don't know how you manage to get ever tighter, but it's taking everything in me to not come just yet.

You pull me down to kiss me hard as you release in my hand, tightening painfully around me. It's like you're sucking out my soul. But I don't care. Have it. I'll gladly give it to you.

"Sora," I whispered as I manage to thrust into you a few more times before I release inside you.

_I smiled at you before the light absorbed us. "Right back at ya, Sora."_

_And I do. I'll spend the rest of my life trying to make up for my betrayal and to show you how much I truly love you._

You curl up next to me, enjoying the afterglow. "I love you too, Riku."

I felt my heart swell up with joy when I hear you say that. You're the light to my darkness. I can't live without you Sora.

I know I might be a little possessive, but I'm not letting anyone take you away from me. I'll always be by your side no matter what. I watch you fall asleep, holding my hand in a loose but firm grip. Even after all the battles and things you've seen, you still look innocent in your sleep.

Kissing your cheek, I whispered in your ear. "I love you too, Sora." Just before I fell asleep, I saw you smile.


End file.
